I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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