i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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