FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
