mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
