I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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