so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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