No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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