I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
