Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
