Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
