My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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