i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
