the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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