i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
