a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
