He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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