And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
