dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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