Fine. I'll sleep in my office
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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