I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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