If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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