The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
