ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
