No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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