Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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