honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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