Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
