like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she smelled like a LAN party
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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