so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
