mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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