Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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