hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
