what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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