glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
