I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
