so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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