Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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