I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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