just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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