so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
