pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
