My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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