no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
