My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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