I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
