i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
