Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
