everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Randomize
