Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
