careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
