Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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