I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
