She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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