Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
so much tequila, so little girl.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
