i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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