you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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