Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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